Bye Week Blues
It’s here. One of the worst days of the year. Bye week Sunday. Football has made up the better part of your weekends for the last twenty-one weeks. There’s one game left, but they’re making you wait an extra week to watch it. So what are you supposed to do with yourself? Sure, there’s regular season hockey and basketball on, but does that really cut it? The NFL put the Pro-Bowl on bye-week Sunday in a desperate attempt to make it more relevant, but we all know that the Pro-Bowl is useless and irritating and I’m not going to insult your intelligence by assuming that even one of you is going to watch it. Instead, I’m going to offer a few useful suggestions of some activities that will help you occupy your time and survive the weekend without football.
Research employment opportunities Prepare for the Super Bowl
The Boy Scout motto is
don’t ask don’t tell Be Prepared. The Super Bowl is only a week away and you probably haven’t even considered the preparation required. Yes, that’s right, even a lazy slob like you who is going to go to someone else’s home and mooch off of their food and beverages and pet their dog needs to prepare. Think of the interesting proposition bets you will use to challenge the compulsive gamblers at the party. Think of what half-assed appetizer/side dish you can bring. My suggestion is a Pittsburgh favorite, Pierogies.
They are cheap, easy to make, and will make you look interesting/ethnic.
Most importantly, find a way to scout the person’s house who is hosting the Super Bowl party you are attending this year. Make note of their TV, chair, and kitchen situation. This will allow you to pick the best possible seat where you will be able to see the TV, be close to the food, and avoid getting stuck in the “back-up TV” room with the weird people the hosts don’t like who were invited because the hosts felt like they were inviting so many other people it would be impolite not to invite the undesirables. If you do get stuck in that room be prepared to hear my story about robots. Use this bye weekend Sunday to get all that nasty prep work out of the way.
Go to a Museum
And not just any museum, a sports related museum. They are out there. I don’t know where you’re reading this from but I can guarantee you that there is a sports-related museum within 30 miles of where you are sitting right now. Whether it be just a wing of a real museum or some old house that a creepy loner turned into a shrine to a famous athlete, sports museums can be both educational (take notes for the next time you play bar trivia, I always do) and fun. A few hours at a sports museum will help you get your sports fix for the day and will get you off your couch on a Sunday afternoon for the first time in months.
Watch a Sports Movie
Don’t like the idea of leaving your couch, eh? Well if you can manage to get up long enough to insert a DVD into the player or activate your Netflix-ready device, I suggest putting on a sports-related movie to help you get your sports fix for the day. I recommend avoiding the same old movies you’ve seen a thousand times
Except this one. Always watch this one.
Instead, look for a classic you haven’t seen before. Allow me to recommend Heaven Can Wait, 8 Men Out, or The Hustler. I haven’t seen any of them, but they came up when I googled “classic sports movies.”
Spend time with your significant other
I know “people in a relationship” probably isn’t Hamsterdam’s key demo. But for the one of you reading this that has a significant other, why not let bye-week Sunday be a day you do something special with him/her? Think about it, for the past twenty-one weeks you have probably scheduled most of your weekend activities around football. Even though you’re willfully ignorant of it, your relationship is probably on the rocks. I’m serious, she is just hanging on for the Valentine’s Day gift at this point and then she is going to cut you like you’re a non-roster invite to Spring Training. So use this Sunday as special time together to win back your significant other’s heart. What exactly should you do together? Take her to the sports museum or to Hooters to watch WWE’s Royal Rumble.
This > a chick flick
For those of you not in relationships, sit in your room and stare at the wall, cataloging every failed relationship in your past and what exactly went wrong. Maybe once you’ve learned from your mistakes you’ll have a significant other to dote on/ignore next bye weekend.